Wednesday, August 11, 2010

One year ago today...

I went back to work. I can't believe it's already been a year!!! Being a workin' mama has been the hardest job(s!) I've ever had. It is so tough being away from my baby all day. And recently I'm really not sure I'm doing the right thing. I am just feeling like I am not raising him. I don't get to spend enough time with him to really parent him the way I want to. It is seriously heartbreaking.

SO we are exploring our options and there may be some changes happening soon. I just know that I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for not being there for him the way I feel I need to be.

And I hate even posting something like this because it is such a controversial issue. But I really believe that it is a very personal one and there are many "right" answers out there depending on the people involved, circumstances, that sort of thing. I'm not saying that working full time is the wrong thing to do. I just feel like it's not exactly right for me. Ideally, I'd love to work part time. Still get my adult/me time but also have lots more time with Garrison. I'm praying that God will guide us in this decision and make thing possible. He does know my heart though, so I have a good feeling :)

Anyways! Enough about that. Here are some cute pics of me and my boy today and 1 year ago...

August 11, 2009:
He's so itty bitty!
I'll keep ya posted!

2 comments:

Stephanie said...

I completely understand. I think you and I are very similar - I would probably go crazy if I was a stay at home mom full-time (hardest job in the world, IMO), but I would never want to be away from my son all day, every day. I'm very fortunate in my situation and I hope you will find something that works well for you and your sweet son.

Kathleen M Orr said...

You are such a wonderful mom! You're doing a great job! =)